Anorexia: Artwork and a Poem

MARIE [14]

 

A Poem

There I was a while ago lost with no hope and happiness no where to be seen.

You came along and offered to me a ticket that would make everything better.

You lied to me and made me feel like everything was going to be fine.

Instead you tortured me and took me away from my loving family and friends.

You convinced me that all I needed was you and for that to happen I had to follow your impossible rules. You crushed my dreams and made me feel like being happy was illegal.

You made me feel that I was never good enough and that I didn’t deserve to live.

You tricked me into thinking your voice was my own and your expectations were my thoughts.

You ripped me open and turned my heart into a black cold rock and you sucked out all that was in me and made me skin and bone.

You took away all my energy and made me work like I was your slave with no time to rest.

You made me work so hard with everything. House work, cooking, cleaning, the list just goes on and on never coming to an end.

You dug a deep hole for me with no way to get out.

You locked me in a tiny cage and threw away the key.

Now I am here fighting for you to be out of my life forever.

Just leave me alone; don’t you know that you are not wanted?

I am not some sort of puppet that you can control for your own entertainment.

I am a human being, not a character in a horror movie that you can just watch and laugh at.

You put me through so much pain and misery; how could you do this to me? Don’t you have any feelings at all?

I am sorry to disappoint you but I choose not to take your road to death and fall into more of your traps. You can no longer control me! I am putting my foot down.

How dare you take every little thing that was left in me and call me all those nasty names.

How dare you just sit there and laugh at me and the people who try to help me as we go through so much heartache and distress.

You are a monster, a life destroyer; I don’t even think you deserve a name.

I am going to get better whether you like it or not and I don’t care how long it takes, this nightmare will come to an end!

Until the day you are finally out of my life forever I will not stop fighting.

Food is my worst nightmare, mirrors are the reflection of disgust, everyone hates me, I am alone forever, I don’t deserve to live; all this bullshit you tried to tell me and for a minute you had me convinced but I no longer want to be on your leash. Now watch me untie this tangled knot that you have tied together so hard.

I am no longer going to listen to you. I am opening the door for you to get out of my life; take it, you are no longer welcome here anymore.

I don’t want an apology or your sympathy. You don’t deserve my forgiveness. You don’t even deserve to exist.

My hate is all I have to offer you.